So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
