i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize