i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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