Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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