You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
3pm strippers are depressing
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
