How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
