I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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