what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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