And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
