Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
