You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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