I think im going to throw up on grandma
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
