it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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