Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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