There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
