4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
