Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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