Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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