Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i now understand why vodka
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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