We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
