I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
