Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
