My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Randomize
