I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!