the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way