David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I love having hate sex.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
