After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
