he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
