The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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