Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Randomize
