I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
