It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
