Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
