She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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