32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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