come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
