we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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