Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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