So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
