my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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