she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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