He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
