How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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