hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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