I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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