Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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