so explain again why im purple
no
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
