I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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