My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
