Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
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