hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
