I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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