Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
