The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
