Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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