i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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