so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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