Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
