You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
