just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
