i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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