I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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