You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
