If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
